"5 You know my folly, O God; my guilt is not hidden from you.
6 May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me, O Lord, the Lord Almighty; may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O God of Israel.
7 For I endure scorn for your sake, and shame covers my face.
8 I am a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my own mother’s sons;
9 for zeal for your house consumes me, and the insults of those who insult you fall on me."
I saw a Facebook post recently from the amazing leaders of Heart for David Ministries (Gold Coast) and it reminded me of my time there at the Feast of Sukkot in 2010.
Marg & David had been organizing a Festival over 3 days for some 10 years and normally invited an overseas speaker to be one of the 2-3 presenters for the 3 days. For some reason in 2010 Marg was having little success finding their overseas speaker and decided to look in Australia. She then discovered my website, CircumcisedHeart.info and after reading some of my articles, and believing that God was directing her, asked me to be one of the speakers. I presented 5 talks and was also part of a Panel discussion.
The event was very well attended and I met many awesome believers who loved Israel. Many of them also shared how they had suffered persecution in the church for a number of reasons, including their love for the Jewish people or their recognition of Shabbat (Sabbath).
As a Biblical Unitarian in a gathering of almost all Trinitarians, with the other speakers also being Trinitarian (including the leader of ‘Jews for Jesus’ in Australasia), I certainly could empathize with them!
Clearly, the unity of spirit and fellowship, as well as the sense of sadness engendered by some of their stories of persecution had impacted me. On the last night of the event I had planned to speak on Yeshua as the High Priest and then just minutes before it was time to get up to speak I felt the Almighty whisper Psalm 69 to me!
I looked it up and verses 5 & 6 jumped out at me very powerfully. I recognized in this great prayer and supplication a cry not to be an impediment to others seeking the Almighty; not to, by my actions, or approach bring dishonour to the Almighty and so in some way act as a barrier to others finding God.
If my behaviour, in not reflecting the righteousness of Yeshua, led to seekers rejecting God and then ultimately bringing shame on themselves; then my foolishness or failure to be faithful and fully obedient was partly responsible for their choosing the wrong path. My zeal for the Almighty has then been ineffective and in fact, detrimental to the cause.
I sensed this much more deeply at the time than I can describe it now. So I stood up and with some difficulty tried to share my love of God and fear of failure before the gathering.
The videos (Part 1 & 2) at the link below were taken on the night. The visual quality is quite poor, but the message may still come across if you are interested:
http://www.youtube.com/
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